A Real-Life Moment Where I Had to Choose Emotional Control

If you’ve followed my journey, you know I’ve been open about grief after losing my daughter in a car accident four years ago. That pain shaped me in ways I never expected.

And yesterday, God knows the enemy tried it.

My son was in a bad car accident. Thank God he wasn’t injured, but the moment I heard the words “car accident”, grief whispered to me:

“He’s almost the same age your daughter was when she died.”

Just like that, old emotions came rushing in—fear, anxiety, panic, grief.

It’s wild how fast the mind can travel back to a place you worked so hard to leave.

I didn’t say any of that out loud, but I did ask my husband if he had any negative feelings about the situation. His answer was simple, but it was powerful.

“No,” he said. “Once I knew he wasn’t hurt, I shut the door to anything negative that tried to come from the past.”

And there it was—emotional control in action.

Quiet. Strong. Steady.

I admire that man’s emotional discipline. Truly. And it made me think: How can I share what he did—and what I’m learning—with my readers?

What Emotional Control Is NOT

A lot of people misunderstand emotional control. It doesn’t mean ignoring what you feel or pretending everything is fine. It’s not about acting tough. And it definitely isn’t about denying your humanity.

Let’s clear that up.

Here are the most common misconceptions:

• “Emotional control means not feeling emotions.”

  No. Emotional control means acknowledging the emotion and still choosing the response.

• “Showing emotion is weak.”

  Absolutely not. Healthy expression is a sign of strength and self-awareness.

• “Negative emotions are bad.”

  Every emotion gives information. Anger reveals boundaries. Fear signals danger. Sadness helps us process loss.

• “People can make me feel a certain way.”

  Others can trigger emotions, yes—but we decide what to do with those emotions.

• “Ignoring how I feel will make it go away.”

  Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they resurface later, often louder.

• “Venting fixes everything.”

  Actually, repeated venting can increase emotional intensity. Processing emotions is different from rehearsing pain.

• “Strong emotions are irrational.”

  Emotions carry important truth. The goal is to combine emotion and logic—what many call the “wise mind.”

Healthy Ways to Process Emotions (Without Getting Stuck There)

You can visit your emotions. Just don’t build a house there. Here are practical ways to move through what you feel:

1. Acknowledge and Name the Emotion

Instead of saying “I am anxious,” try “I’m feeling anxious.”

The difference gives you back your power.

2. Pause Before Responding

Give your mind space to breathe. A moment of stillness can change everything.

3. Use Grounding and Deep Breathing

Slow breathing. Noticing your surroundings. Bringing yourself back to the present—these calm your nervous system instantly.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Talk to yourself with the same kindness you extend to others. You’re human. You’re learning. You’re growing.

5. Reflect on What You’re Feeling

Journal. Pray. Write. Create. Let the emotion come out in a healthy, constructive way.

6. Reframe the Thought

“I always fail” becomes “I learned something this time.” Reframing doesn’t erase reality; it shifts perspective.

7. Seek Support When Needed

Call someone. Talk to someone. Let someone hold space for you.

Isolation intensifies emotions; connection helps release them.

Why It Matters to Move Through Emotions

Processing your emotions isn’t optional. It’s essential.

Because when you don’t…

• Stress shows up in your body

• Anxiety builds up in your mind

• Old wounds bleed into new relationships

• And unprocessed pain becomes destructive coping

But when you process emotions?

You think clearer.

You respond wiser.

You love better.

You grow stronger.

Emotions weren’t meant to be permanent residences.

They are meant to be visitors—messengers—not masters.

How I Chose to Move Through Yesterday’s Emotions

Yesterday could have taken me out emotionally.

Fear wanted space.

Grief wanted to reopen old wounds.

Anxiety wanted to take over.

But I didn’t live there.

I acknowledged what I felt.

I processed it.

I reframed it.

And then I moved forward with gratitude.

Instead of losing my whole day to something I couldn’t control, I focused on what I could control—and I let that fuel my productivity.

And guess what?

The “worst-case scenario” was nothing more than the inconvenience of replacing a damaged car with something new. That’s it.

So I’m choosing to expect God’s provision, favor, and blessing through all of it.

As my husband says, “In God, there is NO LOSS.”

Stay tuned… because I believe something better is already on the way.

Here are a few Reflection Questions for you:

1. Where in my life am I “living” in emotions I was only meant to briefly visit?

2. What emotion tends to control my reactions the most, and why does it have that influence?

3. When was the last time I paused to process how I felt before reacting, and what difference did it make?

4. Who in my life models healthy emotional control, and what can I learn from them?

5. What is one practical step I can take this week to respond to my emotions instead of being ruled by them?

Here’s a Prayer for you:

Heavenly Father,

I lift up every person reading these words today. You see their hearts, their fears, their memories, and every emotion they carry. Remind them that feelings are not failures and emotions are not enemies. Teach them how to acknowledge what they feel without living in places You never intended them to stay. Give them wisdom to pause, strength to process, and peace to move forward with clarity. Cover them with Your presence and guide them toward healing and emotional freedom.

In Jesus’ name, amen.