Friendship 2026

I’ve spent some time lately thinking about what friendship actually means. Not the Facebook version. Not the networking version. Not the “we know each other” version.

Real friendship.

My thoughts were sparked ’because I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of people who have called me their friend this year.

When I say “overwhelmed,” don’t picture hundreds of people. In fact, it’s only been only a handful.…And somehow, that makes it even more meaningful.

Because the truth is, today I only know a handful of people well. My circle isn’t large. It’s intentional. The people in it know me—not the version of me I think they want to see, but the real me.

If you’ve read my first book, Enough is Enough I won’t be a statistic, you may recall me saying:

“You can’t have a genuine friendship if you aren’t being a genuine person.”

When I first wrote those words, I wasn’t talking about manipulation or pretending to be someone with bad intentions. I meant something much simpler—and much sadder.

How can someone truly know you if you don’t even know yourself?

If you’re constantly adjusting to fit the room…

Changing your opinions to match the people around you…

Hiding the parts of yourself that feel vulnerable…

Then what exactly is another person becoming friends with? Who are they actually loving?

Today, my life looks very different.

I no longer measure my worth by how well I blend into someone else’s expectations.

I choose wholeness.

I choose transparency.

I choose authenticity.

I value my word.

I genuinely care about people.

I’m just as excited to learn as I am to teach.

And I’ve discovered something beautiful.

People actually like the real me.

That sentence almost feels strange to write.

Not because it isn’t true—but because for so many years I secretly believed the opposite.

Have you ever wondered…

“If people really knew everything about me, would they still stay?”

Have you ever hidden parts of yourself because you were afraid they would change someone’s opinion of you?

Do you find yourself becoming whoever the room needs instead of simply being yourself?

Do you overthink conversations after they’re over?

Do you apologize for who you are before anyone has even criticized you? (Thank you Patti for teaching me that lesson!)

Do you constantly wonder if you’re “too much”… or somehow “not enough”?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, I understand. Far more than you know.

This week, I experienced something that reminded me just how much life has changed.

One of my girlfriends gave up her entire day to come help me paint my new bedroom.

Not because she had to.

Not because she needed something.

She simply wanted to spend the day with me.

We painted.

We laughed.

We talked about life.

We shared things that mattered.

Sometimes we were deep in conversation.

Other times we worked in complete silence.

And neither one of us felt the need to fill every quiet moment.

It was uncomplicated.

Comfortable.

Safe.

Real.

I drove home thinking, “This is what friendship feels like.”

Also that day, my real estate agent—who has become a friend—drove more than forty-five minutes just to surprise me with a pizza.

She could have had one delivered.

She could have texted.

She could have done nothing at all.

Instead, she got in her car and personally brought it to me.

She wasn’t checking a box.

She wasn’t building business.

She wasn’t expecting anything in return.

She simply cared.

And standing there in a thankful embrace, I cried on her shoulder.

Not because of the pizza.

Because of what it represented.

Someone knows me.

The real me.

And she likes me enough to drive almost an hour just to brighten my day.

For most people, that might sound like a small gesture. For me, it healed something I didn’t realize still needed healing.

It reminded me that the fear I’d carried for so many years—that if people truly knew me they would leave—was never the whole story.

The right people don’t leave because they finally see who you are. The right people stay because they finally do.

Friendship, I’ve learned, isn’t built by becoming more impressive.

It’s built by becoming more authentic.

It isn’t about finding people who accept the version of you that performs the best.

It’s about finding people who are grateful you stopped performing altogether.

If you’re still hiding…

If you’re still wondering whether anyone could love the real you…

If you’re still exhausting yourself trying to become whatever everyone else needs…

May I gently offer you this thought?

Maybe the people you’ve been searching for have been searching for the real you all along.

Not the polished version.

Not the perfect version.

Not the version that never struggles.

Just you.

The beautiful thing about authenticity is that it doesn’t guarantee everyone will like you.

But it does guarantee that the people who do… like the real you.

Because the greatest gift isn’t having more friends.

It’s finally being known.

(Special thanks to my friends: Patti Shuttie, Tammy Reid, Lori Perez, Jenny Books, Chelsea Rice-Glymph, Kimberley Mitchell, Shaindel Marcus, Tiffany Ball, Judy Robbins, Andrea Grant, Juanita Shanks, Melissa Brown, Bonita Stewart and can I say Patti Shuttie Again!)

And to Sonja Keeve…. Most definitely we need to plan a grown girl slumber party!