“WHO”s in your Wallet?

There are some days in life you can see coming, and yet… you still can’t fully prepare for how they will hit you.

If you’ve been following my journey for a while, you’ve heard me say this before:

“You don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to the level of your preparation.”

I live by that.

On my best days, I’m preparing for my worst ones.

Yesterday was one of those days.

It was my daughter’s birthday—the daughter I lost four years ago. I woke up knowing the day would carry a weight other days don’t. I tried to meet that weight with gratitude, with love, with the good memories. And for a while… it worked.

But grief is unpredictable.

As the day went on, I stumbled across old voice recordings, pictures, videos—moments frozen in time that shook me in ways I wasn’t ready for. They didn’t just sting. They stopped me. They pulled tears out of places I thought had healed. And suddenly, I wasn’t standing on “I’m strong enough” anymore.

I needed something more.

More than my own resilience.

More than a well-meaning “God’s got you.”

I needed human support.

Someone who understood my language of loss without me having to translate a thing.

So I reached out to someone in my circle—Juanita Shanks. A strong, steady woman who has also walked through the heartbreak of losing a child. I didn’t have to explain my pain; she already knew. She showed up with compassion, understanding, and presence.

And before anything else…

she prayed with me.

She lifted me up when my own strength felt thin. Together we stood on the Word of God:

• His peace—that unexplainable peace that wraps around you right when you think you’re about to come undone.

• His grace—the permission to feel when denying your feelings would be easier.

• His joy—the miracle of still choosing love, laughter, and life even in the middle of chaos.

I’m deeply grateful for Juanita—for her being there at the very moment I needed someone in my corner.

And it made me reflect on

Two important thoughts:

1. You need the right people in your support system.

Not just people who know your name—but people who know your pain.

People who are relevant to your season.

People who show up.

2. Sustaining relationships matters just as much as having them.

You can’t only withdraw from relationships when you’re hurting.

You have to deposit too.

Support goes both ways.

So here’s the part that hits home:

We often guard our bank accounts, but we rarely guard the “wallet” of our emotional life—who we allow access, who we allow influence, and who we depend on.

Your relationships should be assets, not liabilities.

They should reduce stress, not increase it.

They should support your growth, not undermine it.

And healthy relationships don’t happen by accident. They require intentionality:

Be the friend you want to have.

• Show appreciation. Tell people what they mean to you.

• Extend invitations. Stay in touch.

• Be available when someone is hurting.

• Listen without judgment.

• Accept help when you need it—yes, you.

• Celebrate their successes without letting jealousy take root.

• Communicate honestly when something hurts.

• Respect boundaries—yours and theirs.

• Know when it’s time to release a relationship that only drains you.

Because here’s the truth:

The people in your support system have the power to stabilize you—or sabotage you.

They either help you carry your load or they add weight to it.

So I’m asking you today…

Who’s in your wallet?

Who do you reach for when life hits hard?

Who can speak your language without you having to explain the whole story?

Who do you show up for—and who shows up for you?

Because life will hand every one of us days that knock the breath out of our lungs. And on those days, you will need more than strength, more than faith, more than determination.

You will need people.

People who pray, who listen, who understand, who love, who lift.

People whose presence feels like peace.

Choose them wisely.

Cherish them deeply.

And make sure you are that kind of friend in return.

HERES A PRAYER I’VE PRAYED OVER YOU

Heavenly Father, I lift up every person reading this right now. You know their heart, their hurt, and the silent battles they carry. Surround them with Your peace—the kind that doesn’t need explanation. Bring healing to wounds, companionship to lonely places, and rest to the weary.

Open their eyes to the people You’ve placed in their lives for support. Strengthen their relationships. Deepen their connections. Give them the courage to reach out when they need help and the heart to show up for others.

Cover them with Your joy, hope, and sustaining presence. Remind them that they are seen, loved, and never alone.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.