SECRETLY BLEEDING

There’s a special kind of pain that comes with hiding hurt. It’s the pain of smiling while your soul trembles. The pain of saying, “I’m fine,” when everything inside of you is silently bleeding.

For years, that was me.

I thought strength meant silence. I thought being “okay” was a requirement — not an option. So I put on the masks. The “strong wife” mask. The “fun mom” mask. The “dependable friend” mask. The “good Christian” mask. The “professional career woman who has her life together” mask.

Every day, I showed up.

Every day, I bled in secret.

When Life Came Crashing Down

There comes a moment when the weight you’ve been carrying finally starts to crush you from the inside. My moment wasn’t dramatic — it was devastating. The career I had worked so hard for? Gone. The business ventures I poured my heart into? Fell apart. The marriage I tried to save? In shambles. My kids? Distant… and I didn’t blame them. My friends? Vanished.

And me?

Just a shell — functioning, but shattered.

My principles were compromised by my choices, and my choices were directing the path my life took. I wasn’t just hurting… I was lost. But I kept pretending, because that’s what I knew how to do.

Until one day, I couldn’t pretend anymore.

I hit a breaking point — the place where my soul whispered,

“You’re not okay… and it’s time to tell the truth.”

The Freedom of Transparency

The healing didn’t start when things got better. It started when I admitted things were broken. That admission — that surrender — was the turning point.

Not because I figured everything out, but because I finally stopped trying to hold everything together on my own.

When I laid my pain before God, He didn’t shame me. He covered me. He strengthened me. He rebuilt me from the inside out.

My masks fell off… and for the first time, I could breathe.

Loving myself as I was didn’t make me weak — it made room for strength to grow. Accepting myself didn’t make me vulnerable — it made me whole.

Being “not okay” didn’t make me less — it made me honest. And with honesty came confidence. With transparency came freedom. With surrender came victory.

Letting God Show Up

There’s a supernatural strength that rises when you stop hustling for approval, stop hiding your wounds, and stop pretending you don’t feel what you feel.

God meets you exactly where you are — in the mess, in the confusion, in the heartbreak — and He reminds you that:

You’re still chosen.

You’re still called.

You’re still loved.

And you’re still stronger than you think.

I’m no longer afraid to say, “I’m not okay today.”

Because even on the days I’m not okay, I know my strength doesn’t come from the mask — it comes from my Maker.

Today, I am stronger than I have ever been… not because life is perfect, but because I am finally living in truth. I am no longer secretly bleeding. I am openly healing.

And that — THAT — is power.

Here’s a few Reflection Questions for you:

1. What areas of my life am I still trying to appear “okay” in, even when I’m hurting?

2. How have the masks I wear protected me—and how have they prevented me from healing?

3. Where do I need to invite God in instead of silently carrying everything on my own?

A Prayer for the Reader

Heavenly Father,

I lift up every person reading these words right now. You know the hurts they hide, the burdens they carry, and the silent battles they’ve been fighting alone. Lord, wrap them in Your presence and remind them that they don’t have to pretend with You.

Give them the courage to release what they’ve been holding in. Give them the strength to lay down every mask, every fear, every disappointment, and every hidden wound. Pour Your healing into the places they’ve never spoken about.

Father, help them to see that transparency is not weakness — it is the doorway to freedom. Remind them that when they stop striving to “hold it all together,” You step in with power, peace, and restoration.

Let them feel Your love in a real and undeniable way. Renew their hope. Restore their confidence. Rebuild their joy. And reassure them that even when they are not okay, they are still deeply loved, seen, and held by You.

Thank You for the strength You are growing within them. Thank You for the healing that has already begun. Thank You for walking with them every step of the way.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.